what are you doing with your life? that is not attractive, thats fucking creepy.

jesus fucking christ, now i can't get you out of my head. go away, you arent even tangible.

i really hope the end of the world is the result of aliens.
i just hope i won't be here when it happens.

whatever, fuck you, i'm just having fun.

i'm not religious really and i certainly do not believe in god. but i'm feel like there has to be something beyond this. i'm hoping there is a heaven, but most likely there is probably just reincarnation. i'll come back as another person, but i wont remember this person.
nothing is ever certain though, maybe we do just end up in blackness.

i want to be in california. i'm miss the sun, the bay, mushroom hunting, the smell of fresh halibut and abalone, i miss the winding roads and i miss my dad.
when i'm old and grey, marin county will be the place for me, i swear.

i've never been such a crazy mess talking to anyone. it bums me out to think about it. i wish you weren't so far away.


dad, i cannot wait to see you again.

so what is the point of all this?
i dont know, but i like it.

=

i tried so hard.

i wish that i could experience the beauty and glory of a non industrialized life. the values, the love, the colour is so much brighter. and even though the world around them is telling them to be different, to modernize, they're pure and innocent nature remains. unfortunately, i've been tainted by the modern life, and if i'm honest with myself, i can admit that i could never commit wholly to the natural beauty that they experience everyday.

so much to do with so little time. so much to play, so much to think about, so much to scrape clean.

and so that is life. and we will move on from here.